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I Give Up

Early spring has historically been a boring time of the year for me. For someone whose disposition is largely dictated by sports seasons, late February and early March is typically bland. Football season is over and ba…
Christians Never, Yesterday Forever

Barack Hussein Obama is probably not a socialistic Muslim terrorist. He’s probably not even a Muslim. But, if he is, indeed, a Muslim, then he’s a very lousy one at best because from what I have seen, it has been wel…
The World is a Vampire: 1995 to Today

When I was a freshman in college I lived in the dormitories. The dorms at the University of California, San Diego were arranged in suites with six dorm rooms sharing a common living area and bathroom. There were eight…
The Friends Conundrum

Whenever my friends force me to recall my past relationships, what they are really asking is for me to tell them more stories about one particular girl I dated in college. None of my current friends have ever met this g…
The Hard Times of A.C. Slater

There was no greater rivalry in the 1990s than that which existed between Zack Morris and A.C. Slater. However, while Zack was universally accepted as the leader of the Saved by the Bell gang, Slater was better than Zac…
The Great American Soccer Quandary

I have a friend who is ridiculously pregnant. As I am typing this, she is several days past her due date. As such, whenever we speak to each other, it is unavoidable that we will talk about pregnancy and baby stuff. (…
manilajones' Liner Notes

My right arm has been hurting lately, and I know exactly why. I have a laptop computer and I’m too lazy to get a mouse for it. For the few hours each day that I am on the computer, my right hand hovers over my computer…
The Myope's Manifesto

Last week I met someone at work who said, “I’m hella blind.” Like most people who live in California would do, I immediately assumed that this person was from the San Francisco Bay Area. Bay Area folks are known for th…
UC Sans Tolerance

I might be racist, and it’s not because I laugh at George Lopez’s jokes sometimes. I graduated from the University of California at San Diego, which might make me racist by association. UCSD is steadily making a reputa…
The Theory of Perception

Everything about vision is explained by the Trichromatic Theory. The theory describes a model of vision in which light is captured by three photopigments (erythrolabe, chlorolabe, and cyanolabe) in the retina. This set…