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The Great-One-Eight

I’m not one to make predictions, but I’m going to make one right now: The Los Angeles Lakers will win the 2010 NBA championship. Now, I’m certain that many of you will disagree with this statement. Many of you believe…
Disneyland's One-Doll Quandary

They say that Disneyland is “the happiest place on Earth,” and anyone who has been to Disneyland can attest to this sentiment. All the employees (playfully known as “cast members”) are ridiculously happy, despite the fa…
Eff Ewe En Why See

Last week Los Angeles Lakers shooting guard Kobe Bean Bryant was in the news, and it had nothing to do with the number of teenage women he’s allegedly raped. In a game played at Madison Square Garden, Kobe racked up 61…
There's No "U" in "Team"

I’m kind of critical of sports fans because I support the very postmodern theory that everything in life can be explained by analyzing the world competitive sports. However, I don’t consider myself to be overly critical…
Call Me Geezus

I’m well aware of the fact that I’m kind of lazy. I’m pretty content with spending the majority of my waking hours reading a book, watching the television, or staring at my laptop. I don’t really enjoy “going out,” “do…
NICKNAME BASKETBALL ALIASES

The NBA playoffs.I like basketball, but I loathe the NBA. It’s not as exciting as college hoops, and there’s too much whining and complaining from its overpaid players. So, I usually hate this time of the year because…
CANDY CORN

First, some nonsense: Fuck daylight savings time! I love the long nights of fall and winter. I love getting off work and seeing everything all dark! It’s all so peaceful! Weeeee!!! And now, the 5 best Halloween costumes…