Monday, 31 March 2008
Way Back Home: Live From New York City
By The Wreckers
Someone once said that I have the musical taste of a gay person. This may or may not be true. I don’t know anything about the musical preferences of the gay community. Right now I have Ingrid Michaelson, Liz Phair, Feist, and Paramore on heavy rotation on Last.fm. Do gay people listen to these artists? Probably. I don’t know if this person was trying to imply something about my sexual preferences based on my musical tastes. But, if there is some universal “taste” in music that applies to all homosexuals, and if my taste in music is similar to this, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gay. It just means that gay people have exquisite taste in music. And so what if I’m wearing a bright pink dress shirt right now? What the hell do I know? I only have two out of three photoreceptors (meaning I’m colorblind). I thought it was a manly brown color when I bought it from Nordstrom.
For the record, I am not one of the gays. I like to date women. And after I date them, I like to take them back home and sleep with them. I love women. Most of my best friendships are with women, and most of the intelligent discourse I’ve ever engaged in have been with women. I think women are fantastic! And it sickens me to know that sexism still exists in 21st century. I’m a progressively thinking kind of guy. I don’t believe in dragging my woman around by her hair and I don’t believe that a woman’s place is in the home. I’m sure most modern people would share that sentiment. Women are people, too, and they should be treated just as men are treated. Traditional gender roles are fundamentally sexist, and sexism is fundamentally immoral and wrong. While it’s true that men have committed various moral crimes against women throughout history, sexism today isn’t perpetuated by men inasmuch as it is by ignorant dumb bitches.
What is an ignorant, dumb bitch? An IDB is fairly easy to spot. She might have a successful career; she might be self-sufficient. She might even be proud of herself and tout her independence, but the difference between an IDB and a real modern woman is that an IDB is always complaining about her life. She is usually single and unattached because she claims that there isn’t a good enough guy out there for her. She is under some delusion that “nice guys” are hard to find because she has an unfounded belief that most men are douchebags. She will never pay for a date, and she is quickly turned off when a man does not open the car door for her. Despite her long history of unsuccessful relationships, she still longs to one day receive an engagement ring from Prince Charming, and that ring should be worth at least three months of his hard-earned salary. An IDB masquerades as someone who believes in equality (as she likes to flaunt being a “career woman”), but when it comes down to it she believes in traditional gender roles, whether she is aware of it or not. An IDB is constantly complaining that chivalry is dead. However, an IDB doesn’t realize that the concept of chivalry is sexist in and of itself. If a man is supposed to be courteous and provide and protect, then is a woman supposed to stay home and cook dinner and shut up? That may have been true 400 years ago, but I don’t want to live in those times anymore. Those days were kind of sexist. An IDB is a woman whose mentality sets women back at least 100 years. She is the antithesis of the feminist movement.
As a feminist, I just want things to be equal. If you’re a woman, don’t expect your date to pick up the tab or hold the elevator door open for you. There’s nothing wrong with going Dutch (is that racist?) and you can push the damn elevator button yourself. If you’re a woman, don’t expect your boyfriend to blow three months of his salary on an engagement ring. And if he does, give it back to him and put that money in bonds for your children’s future. Trust me, he would be touched and it would be the ultimate expression of love for him. And if you’re a woman, don’t complain about chivalry being dead. Here’s a little secret: most men ARE nice guys because, really, it’s not that hard to NOT be an asshole. If a man acts like a gentleman around you, it’s because he wants to and not because you deserve it. And if you’re a woman who just got pissed off by reading this article, then you’re a sexist pig. Stop perpetuating sexism by expecting things you feel entitled to. I’ll be chivalrous to you if you fold my socks, if that makes you happy.
I love WOMEN. I swear.