Tuesday, 24 April 2007

• Currently Watching The Fast and the Furious - Tokyo Drift (Widescreen Edition) By Lucas Black (II), Damien Marzette, Trula M. Marcus, Zachery Ty Bryan, Brandon Brendel see related

  SEATTLE, WASHINGTON (A PERSONAL ENTRY)

  Everyone in Los Angeles is predicting that an earthquake will rock the city any day now.  The majority of Los Angelenos are not seismologists (per se), but everyone seems to be convinced that an earthquake will occur sometime this year.  The last major earthquake was the Northridge earthquake of 1994, and for the past 30+ years, LA has been hit by approximately one major earthquake every decade (in 1971 there was the Sylmar earthquake, and in 1987 there was the Whittier Narrows earthquake).    While the “we-haven’t-had-an-earthquake-in-awhile” theory is presumptuous, illogical, and unfounded, I fully believe in it as if it was fact.  Maybe it’s some kind of innate bond that I have with my native land (kind of like how Native Americans can tell when it’s going to rain.  And I’m talking about real Native Americans, not the Vietnamese ones that run all the Indian casinos), but I could just feel that the legendary “big one” is going to hit soon.  The “big one” will inevitably happen, and it will break the Inland Empire in half, turn Los Angeles into an island, and sink San Diego (yay!!).  The idea of Los Angeles being an island sounds nice, although I would imagine that the island would be uninhabitable.   Living in Los Angeles has become unstable.  I must move ASAP.

  Where should I move?  My only requirement is that the city I live in must be culturally diverse.  This eliminates 99% of American cities, and the remaining cities have their own problems, which are just as unappealing as earthquakes.  San Francisco would probably sink into the Pacific from its own earthquake.  Miami and Houston have too many hurricanes.  New York has too many rats, diseases, and assholes.  And Chicago has the Cubs (I wouldn’t want to live in a loser-culture mentality).    That only leaves Seattle, and the more I think about, Seattle, although I’ve never been there, seems like the country’s most perfect city.  Comparatively, it is culturally diverse and it is not in any imminent threat of a natural disaster (I highly doubt that the city would be overrun by a deer and/or raccoon invasion).  It’s located on the banks of something called “Puget Sound”, which “sounds” kind of cool.  (There is something that needs to be said about living along a “sound”, but I don’t know what it is.  Living along a “sound” probably fosters some sort of quasi-artistic intelligence.  But what do I know?  I’m not into spoken-word.)  Because of Nordstrom, people in Seattle dress nice and are, consequently, attractive.  Washington Mutual is based in Seattle.   I don’t currently bank with them, but, if their goofy commercials are any indication, they seem ready to take over the banking industry (you cannot deny the power of free checking and no check-printing fees).  If every city in the US were to fall due to natural disaster, war, or some other unthinkable event, Seattle would be at the vanguard of the new America.  I know I am not the only one who has foreseen this.  The Seattle city council has recently rejected a proposal for a new arena for the Seattle SuperSonics basketball team.  They did this with the knowledge that this will, no doubt, jettison this second-class basketball program to Oklahoma City.  (Their other sports teams are not so worthless.  The Seahawks currently play at a high level, and Nintendo, which is based in Seattle, owns the Mariners) It’s no coincidence that the two companies that will eventually take over the world (Starbucks and Microsoft) are headquartered in Seattle.  Bill Gates and Howard Schultz obviously know something that we don’t.  The new technological revolution will be fueled by caffeine.

  I must move to Seattle ASAP.

  My fascination with Seattle is nothing new.  I’ve always been attracted to its trees and cold weather, both of which are lacking in Los Angeles.  (I like cold weather because I look much better in big thick jackets than I do in t-shirts and shorts.  I feel more muscular in winter clothes.)  I suppose it’s cliché to be attracted to something that you don’t have, but Seattle seems to be more than a novelty for me.  Although it is cloudy for most of the year, I think my dark and brooding personality would fit right in with the all-around gloominess of Seattle.  Other than its annual rainfall and caffeine culture, Seattle is best known for its suicidal rock stars, like Kurt Cobain (and maybe Jimi Hendrix, but that’s still somewhat of a mystery).  I don’t know why Seattle rock stars like to kill themselves, but maybe there’s something in Lake Washington that makes people insane (or brilliant).

  I don’t know if I’m brilliant.  I’m probably not.  Someone recently told me that my blog entries don’t make her scream, “Amen!”  This struck me as profoundly lame.  I’m not trying to make anyone’s life better.  I’m not trying to solve the mystery of life.  I don’t owe anyone anything, so I suppose I should have told that person “Thank you” if I didn’t give her what she felt she was entitled to.   I just want to live in a place where I don’t have to settle for anything less than what I want (which is what most people do).   I don’t want to compromise (which is what most people do, especially in "successful" relationships).  I don't have the answers to life's questions.  I just want to figure out the grunge of my own existence. 

  Sometimes I feel like a suicidal rock star.

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