Friday, 10 November 2006

• Currently Watching There's Something About Mary (Widescreen Edition) By Cameron Diaz, Matt Dillon, Ben Stiller, Lee Evans, Chris Elliott, Lin Shaye, Jeffrey Tambor, Markie Post, Keith David, W. Earl Brown, Sarah Silverman, Khandi Alexander, Marnie Alexenburg, Danny Murphy, Richard Tyson, Rob Moran, Jackie Flynn, Hillary Matthews, Willie Garson, David Shackelford see related

  DROPPIN' KNOWLEDGE

  I heard that for every bit of useless knowledge that your brain absorbs, you actually lose an equal amount of useful knowledge.  Here is a sample of some useless knowledge I’ve managed to accrue during my 29 year tenure on Earth.  Get ready to get dumb!!

   

  The names of the months September, October, November, and December indicate that they should be the 7^th – 10^th months of the year, yet they are not.  They are the 9^th-12^th months of the year.  They used to be the 7^th-10^th months, but then a couple of Romans named Julius and Augustus decided to create months smack dab in the middle of the year and name them after themselves.  Talk about conceit!

   

  Christians beware!!  Every day of the week is named after a celestial body (planets, which were named after pagan gods.  Gasp!).  Sunday is obviously named after the sun.  Monday is obviously named after the moon, whose proper name is Luna, which derives the name Lunes, which is Monday in Spanish.  Tuesday in Spanish is Martes, and in French it is Mardi, so Tuesday is named after Mars.  Mardi Gras translates into Fat Tuesday, and Mardi Gras, which is New Orleans day of uninhibited debauchery, is always celebrated on the day before Ash Wednesday.  Wednesday is named after Mercury.  Don’t believe me?  Wednesday in Spanish is Miercoles.  You smell me?  Thursday means “Thor’s Day”.  Thor is the Norse god of Thunder.  Thanks to the brainwashing of Europe by the Roman Catholic Church, Norse and Roman mythologies were lumped into “paganism” and their mythologies were sometimes mixed together.  Thor was connected with the Roman god of Thunder, Jupiter.  (Oh, and Thursday in Spanish is Jueves.)  Friday is named after Frida, the Norse god of beauty, who was confused with Venus, the Roman goddess of beauty.  And Saturday is named after Saturn, which is also the name of a cheap American car company.

   

  And speaking of cars, let’s talk about highways!  All US Interstates that run north-south are odd-numbered and their number designation increases as you go from west to east.  For example, Interstate 5 runs north-south along the Pacific coast and Interstate 95 runs north-south along the Atlantic coast.  All US Interstates that run east-west are even-numbered and increase in number designation as you go from south to north.  For example, Interstate 10 runs east-west from Jacksonville FL to Santa Monica CA, and Interstate 90 runs east-west from some northeastern city to some northwestern city (I don’t know the names of these cities.  I’m from southern Cali!!).  This rule doesn’t apply to state roads.  It only applies to TRUE US Interstates!! (You know, the ones with the blue shields that cross state lines!!)  …and this rule doesn’t apply to Hawaii because Hawaii is weird like that.

   

  You know what else is a weird state?  Arizona!  They don’t practice daylight savings time. 

   

  Bats always fly left when they leave a cave.

   

  Dane Cook is not funny.  (Okay, that is actually USEFUL knowledge.)

   

  …and the movements your eyes are making right now as you read this are called saccades.

  • 10:08 PM
  • 524 Views
  • 10 eProps
  • 5 Comments