Monday, 06 November 2006

• Currently Watching Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen By Lindsay Lohan, Adam Garcia, Glenne Headly, Alison Pill, Eli Marienthal, Carol Kane, Megan Fox, Sheila McCarthy, Tom McCamus, Richard Fitzpatrick, Sheila Sealy-Smith, Ashley Leggat, Barbara Mamabolo, Maggie Oskam, Rachael Oskam, Adam MacDonald, Gerry Quigley, Kyle Kass, Connor Lynch, Pedro Miguel Arce see related

  NOVEMBER RAIN

  Well I’m Rex V. with a story to tell, and when I rock the crowd I rock the crowd well. And when I get the feeling I feel the feel swell, cuz when I start to rant, I rant my rant well!!

  It’s November and it’s about time to get pissed off again. Reader discretion is advised. But, please remember that I’m not usually a vulgar sonuvabitch. I’m really quite polite and pleasant. I offer coffee and cake to all my house guests. Fool, you know how I do… I’m from the Handsome Boy Modeling School!! Made in Cerritos!!

  To PrincessJakes, OakPavilion, and ilovebenz: Get a life, bitch!! Make another one, why don’t ya??

  To Texas: I just don’t fucking get it. Why the hell do all you Texans always gotta make sure that we all know that you’re fucking from Texas?? Why the hell do all “y’all” Texans gotta fly that fucking Texas flag from the back of your cars? Why the hell do all you Texans always say, “Don’t mess with Texas”?? Listen, Texas bitches: No one is “messing” with Texas, whatever the fuck that means. No one fucking cares about Texas except yourself, so why don’t you go back to that fucking backwards hick state (or “Republic”, apparently) and don’t “mess” with the rest of the modern world. Give me a fucking break.

  To yuppies who “smoke” cigars: I can’t stand all you geek-ass yuppies at clubs and parties who try to be “cool” by “smoking” cigars. Stop frontin’, you damn bitches. You know nothing about cigars. You couldn’t tell if you were smoking a Cuban or something from South Gate. The only reason you’re holding that cigar is because you don’t want to be a wallflower and you’re too much of a pussy to take a shot of 151 or smoke a cigarette. As far as I’m concerned, you’re not cool until you inhale (which you don’t), otherwise, you’re just a fucking wuss. If you want to be cool, smoke a damn cigarette. As I’ve said many times, it’s been scientifically proven that smoking a cigarette makes you 23% cooler. And no, the cigar doesn’t make you look sophisticated. It makes you look like a damn idiot.

  To Kanye West: Who the fuck do you think you are?? Why the fuck are you such a sore loser?? Listen, your music is just “okay”, maybe it’s a little “above average” at best. But you are definitely not good enough to go on tirades at music awards shows just because you didn’t win an award for best fucking whatever video. Put down the microphone and go back to producing beats for Jay-Z. You know what? You’re not a sore loser. You’re just a damn loser. You’re not the Louis-Vuitton Don. You’re just a fucking bozo.

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